When we created SocialBling, we did it under the two premises:

1. If dating and finding new business opportunities (new job and/or customer) are at opposite ends as to why people need to network, can we create a more mutually beneficial network by focusing less on the differences of those two ends and by finding mutual ground in the middle? (I.e. goals, hobbies, interests, information exchanges, etc)
2. If we pre-screened and introduced people based on best attributes and  information that is important to them yet sometimes hard to reveal via a self-introduction encounter would there be more value in the introduction and opportunity for connection?

We are happy to report the answer to both questions is Yes. We have our tools and we are ready to build our house. In traditional networking communities as your needs changes you may outgrow your network.  It is important to us that we build a network of diversity; we want representation from all groups of people,  making sure our community evolves with you as your needs change.

As we think in terms of mutual beneficial relationships, we are seeking partners who are interested in utilizing our processes of matching, screening, introducing and hosting to deliver value to their networks and databases. If you or someone that you know has a large database of email contacts and is looking for ways to deliver monetizing value to them, we would like to talk to you. Note: Our offerings vary based on who we are working with. We go to great lengths to manage the integrity of your brand and your contacts.

We are looking to partner with:

1. Businesses with a diverse databases
2. Non profits organizations
3. Traditional networking organizations
4. Corporate event planners
5. Music, art, fashion and/or party promoters
6. Personalities (book author, field expert, blogger, etc)

Currently, we are looking for either National or Los Angeles-based partners. Please spread the word. Help Us, Help You – We are working to make great connections for you.

Over the course of my marketing and advertising career, I have provided marketing, branding and communications strategies for many. Since 2000, I have been working with companies and people helping them understand and grow social networks that suit their needs and wants. While news of our failing economy was breaking in the fall of 2008, I became to realize I am advocate for two themes: Transparency and Accountability. These themes along with a devotion to social networking naturally combined to put me in position to understand and teach people about social media and how to use it. Although my passions have remained consistent, I have found myself getting really disenchanted by articles and conversations about social media because the bulk of the information people are sharing is misleading.  Actually, disenchanted might be understatement. At one holiday luncheon of career minded peers, I actually found myself so disgusted by a conversation about Twitter and Facebook I contemplated excusing myself to sit alone at the bar. (Never a good sign in the middle of a day on a work day) I stayed of course, because my colleague’s feelings were more important to me than my discomfort. Trying to settle my discomfort and draw from a positive I realized their conversation promoted a voice in my head that said, “Time to Get Naked!” Well not literally but just as Dr. Phil asks people to “Get Real,” I really wish the overload of misleading social media information will go away. Social media is here to stay. I would like to give everyone a fair shot to understand and use it in a way that best suits their individual needs. Hopefully the information below is helpful to you. I encourage any comments that will further demystify the space as I am sure I have left some things out.

A Decade in the Making – It might be hard for people to realize some forms of social media existed way before Facebook came on scene. I recommend spending some time on Wikipedia searching the following topics: Social Media (pay close attention to the book recommendations on the subject, my recommended favorite is “Wikinomics”) Social Networking, Blogging, History of Wikipedia, Real-time web, Craigslist, Friendster, LinkedIn, MySpace, Twitter and Facebook. These topics will give you a good idea of the history and reasons behind the development of the industry. As these topics “hyperlink” (reference other topics via easy click-able links, just as I am doing here) you will also be given the opportunity to go even deeper with your research. Note: As you carry out this research assignment you are actively participating in social media as the content is provided by Wikipedia users. You can choice to read only or participate if you have factual information you can provide and are willing to list your verified resources.

Social Media and Social Networking, What is the Difference? – Social media and social networking are often intertwined as being the same thing yet they hold different meanings. I tend to use the term social media more when I am referring to the tools and use social networking when I refer to the strategy involved in building a network of people. You can also say that social media is information that is coming direct from the source without traditional media filters and translations although people use social media tools to share information that originated from traditional media with their networks. Technically both exist without any internet integration. One could argue, gossiping to a friend about an event you witnessed firsthand is social media. Going to an event that you are likely to meet someone, exchange cards and follow up with later is social networking. Internet integration with social media/networking is buzz worthy because it enables people to share and collaborate at an accelerated speed while simultaneously archiving communication (words, videos, pictures, and links) creating easier opportunities for spreading the information and reaching more people. It is community building without restrictions of geographical neighbors. It is old school word of mouth marketing, grown up and addicted to steroids.

A Tool is a Tool, is a Tool, is a Tool. – Take a little time to reflect on the conversations and information you have read about social media/networking. Now replace the main word in the conversation/information with any old tool. I will use hammer for my reflection:

• “I don’t get hammering.”
• “I am addicting to hammering”
• “I don’t have time to hammer”
• “Hammering for Your Business”
• “Become a Hammer Authority”
• “Do I need to be hammering?”
• “Did you see her hammer yesterday?”
• “I have 1000 notches on my hammer”
• “I am a hammer guru”
• “Can you measure your hammer time?”

Are you seeing where this is going? Kind of silly to focus on the tool, isn’t it?  What did people talk about before the tipping point happened for Facebook and Twitter? Advancements in tools happen all the time yet the reasons for using the tool do not change that much. We want to learn/stay informed. We want to be entertained. We want to connect with liked minded-people. We want to promote a product, service, idea. We are looking for new opportunities. We want to stay connected to family, friends and people we respect and admire. The point is, identify an issue or desire first then use the tools accordingly. Align the use of a particular social media tool to a desired outcome. If you achieve your goal, great!! Share your good fortune with others. (Note: YouTube is great source to share and find “how to” videos) If you don’t achieve your desired outcome, then use the very same tools to reach out and ask questions so you can learn more. If your goals are personal, you should be able to find someone pretty quickly that can give you a little advice to get there. If your goals are related to your business, then you will probably need to seek out the advice of an expert. Understand this; the space is changing rapidly. In order for someone to be an expert they have to constantly learn new information, understand programming and coding methods, understand proper social media ethics and communication styles and be able to measure results based on desired outcome. There is not a “one size fits all” social media plan that works for everyone and every type of business – Which brings me to my next point.

Rely on Sources that Speak Your Language – Do you know why people use jargon? Me neither but I am guessing it comes from a subconscious desire to be perceived as “smart” which is not entirely bad if the results do not keep others in the dark. If someone intents on sharing and teaching you something, they will take the time to learn your language. My point is, if you don’t understand something it is not because the information is over your head it is because the source is wrong for you. There are many different types of social media practices. Some methods are even teaching people how to become glorified spammers. Understand who you are and what you stand for. For businesses, determine how you want people to perceive your brand. Ask yourself: What is more important to me – Going for the quick sale or building long term relationships? Understand the diversity in backgrounds of social media experts and what their advice/practices are really meant for. Some are promoting methods meant for “work from home” pyramid marketing programs, in which case often the integrity of your brand/reputation is overlooked. If you believe in “Do what you love and the money will follow” you are probably not going to be able to live up to that believe by aligning yourself with a method that promises you will get rich quick. Also be careful of following advice just because someone has a lot of followers, bulking up on quantity is the easiest thing to do and teach via social media methods yet quantity does not always mean quality and/or produce measurable results. The trick is making sure people are really tuned in to what you are say, stay tuned in and act on what you are sharing.

Social Rules of Engagement – No matter what tools you are using there is no magic trust building tool. Trust is the foundation for any relationship and there are no shortcuts to build either. The tools you are using are secondary to the words you are saying. How you communicate and how often is where your focus should be. The best guidelines that I can come up with for communication are not new ways of thinking. Reading, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie will provide you with all the information you need to have success using social media. Another great guide, “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. Here is a brief explanation of what the agreements are and how they apply to social media.

1. Be Impeccable with Your Word – Stand for something, whether you are communicating original content or sharing things that interest you, be consistent. Give people a theme  they can rely on you for. Do what you say and say what you mean.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally – It is likely a person will imply emotion when they read your words which might prompt them to question you. Don’t take this as an open invitation to fight. The goal is not winning; the goal is understanding and connecting. Listen, appreciate their interest/time and agree to differ.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions – Is everyone on your friend’s list really interested in your “lose weight quick” diet pill? Probably not. If are promoting something, ask for permission first and/or state you will be doing so clearly up front. Asking questions is a best practice in social media. Words mean different things to different audiences. Be clear about who you are speaking to and how they would like to be addressed. Also understand, not everyone uses social media tools the same way and for the same reasons. Assuming everyone is trying to build bulky networks and will graciously want to connect with you when you have not even taking the time to read their profile, will get you nowhere.
4. Always Do Your Best – Think about how you are presenting yourself. Would you talk to your boss and/or grandmother in the same way you speaking online? If you would not share, use the same words or do a similar action in person, it might not be a good idea to do it online. Your actions online are not separate from you, they are you. A good way to determine if your online actions are in line with who you are is imagine how the same means of communication would play out in real life, if you cringe from embarrassment or see an awkward sitcom-like scenario playing out in your head, you might want to rethink what you are doing. Note: This is also a good exercise to do if you need a laugh, as Larry David from “Curb Your Enthusiasm” knows, you can get yourself into some pretty crazy situations via misunderstood communication.

The Big Picture – Thanks to internet search engines, we live in a time with unlimited sources for information. Thanks to social media/networking, we also live in a time where we can connect directly to people who provide information. Unlimited information and people means only one thing to me; that anything and everything is achievable. This concept is being proven over and over again. Innovation is happening faster and faster each day. People don’t have to be in the same room anymore to co-create, run a business or to learn something new. You can find and follow streams of information from people you respect and admire the most. You can research people with a certain expertise and reach them directly for developing new ideas. This space and time is not something that should be feared. There are unlimited opportunities for you to explore using social media/networking. Don’t let the space intimidate you. Set a goal and then uses the tools to help you fulfill that goal.

Happy New Year!! For many, 2009 was a year full of stories and moments based on survival. For 2010, I hope this time next year we are recapping stories based on thriving passed survival.

I have never made predictions before. I am sure the internet will be full of financial, technological, and global affairs/issues predictions so I will not bother speaking about things that other people are way more informed than I to speak on. What I will talk about is relationships and social communication trends. There is a long list of reasons as to how and why I have become so tuned in and passionate about social shifts and how they are affecting our relationships. I do not share my thoughts with you because I am particular fond of worry or doom and gloom. I simply believe a little awareness goes a long way and the result of actions based on awareness, creates more opportunity for positive impact.

Top 5 Relationship and Social Trend Predictions:

An Urge to Tune Out to Tune In – We are bombarded by new information at a rate that is often too fast for processing.  When we can’t process things we want to process or think we should it leaves what I call a “fact or fiction film” (FFF) in our minds. We want to move on and dismiss the need to learn new information yet somehow we can’t let it go. Layers of FFF builds up in our minds; to clean it out we have to take the time to slow down, stop thinking for a bit and then go back to it ready to discard what we don’t need and learn more about what we do.

Pitches of Promise Lead to Excess of Expectations – A good sales manager will train salesmen to “Under promise and over-deliver.” A relationship consultant will advise couples that unspoken expectations will hurt and destroy a relationship. The lure and promises of new technology will be promoted in a matter that anything and everything can be automatic and more advanced than human integration.  This thinking goes beyond gadgets that make our life easier. In the New Year we will hear more and more about Technological Singularity, the creation of smarter than human intelligence. We may start to think, if this device, software, etc. can’t solve my needs I will just find another one that can. This theme will spill over into human relationships creating more expectations; without awareness to this, relationship will become increasingly hostile and temporary.  As our brains become overloaded with information without even knowing it we may expect others to account for things we don’t know and when they do not clear our minds of the overload we become irritated much quicker than before.  Why? Because common ground means of instant communication like texting and Skype leave us anticipating nothing, without anticipation, relating becomes the tragic baby that as the saying goes is “thrown out with the bath water.”  It does not matter what your role is: friend, spouse, employer, employee, consultant; we all have to be sensitive to this and be responsible for our communication or lack of and how it affects the nature of a relationship.

A Turn toward Music for Guiding Philosophy – Some say that trends in music are connected to trends in drug use. A good example of this connection is portrayed in the movie/documentary “24 Hour Party People.” Newest trends in music are showing more of a connection to shifts and advancement in technology. How many songs can you think of that mention cell phones or texting? With technology comes demands and longing for emotional intelligence, musicians have been singing about this and predicting the effects of technology for years. Listen to Our Lady Peace’s album released in 2000 called “Spiritual Machine” from start to finish. This concept album was inspired by Ray Kurzweil’s book, “The Age of Spiritual Machines.” The music in this collection brilliantly simplified complex concepts by expressing the need for humility in relationships and love. At the end of the day is “Love All We Need?” There are plenty of songs that lead us to believe so and we love them and the artist that sing them. Check out my top 10 picks for “Songs to Believe in Love Again” and “Songs to Help you Tune Out to Tune in.”

Religion Redefined – Religion is defined as a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe with great consideration to the nature of which it was created by and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs. As religious leaders work to communicate and interpret earliest works of religious archives, they often overlook the importance of the community they are speaking to and what is necessary to keep that community together. People may come together because they share a similar believe yet they remain together based on an acceptance and understanding that is based on things they do not have in common with each other. People are starving for communities that support and inspire individuality. Church communities have the greatest opportunities to bring people together and connect them to each other yet churches do not usually promote individuality and so church membership is declining. People thirsty for a spiritual foundation and/or wanting to connect with people so they can openly question and explore faith are turned off by traditional religious communities because it seems judgment far outweighs the rate of acceptance. Many people find more opportunity to grow spiritually through reading books by authors like Karen Armstrong, participating in cause-related movements that support their beliefs and concerns and finding community via unique experiences like the Burning Man Festival. Note: I do not say these things to anger church leaders or challenge anyone’s religious beliefs, I am more interested in bringing much needed community to this world. I think there is huge opportunity for churches to rethink their community building practices and any an organization that is working towards bringing people together and keeping them together deserves some credit for doing so.

Conversations of Introspection Gain in Popularity over Social Small Talk – Being able to relate to people is the luxury that is missing in our relationships. The “Don’t Worry Be Happy” patterns of consumption founded in the 80’s have in some shape or form managed to stay with us, forcing us to face them head on in 2008 and 2009. Our government, banking system, business and life as we know it has changed. It has caused confusion, hardships and reasons to evaluate our methods. There is an abundant of resources to look to for the answers yet the sources of the most value will always come from conversations with people you trust. The capacity for learning greatly increases when the source is a person whose heart we trust. We don’t find or develop these sources via small talk, they come through the willingness to be vulnerable and transparent and the ability to recognize, listen and treasure when others are doing the same.

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Note: For an explanation on “tuning out to tune in” click here.

Here are a couple of things I learned:

1. A lot of people saw Avatar over the holidays, mixed reviews yet overall everyone said it contains amazing visual stimulation yet lacks a little on the dialog/plot side.
2. New parents or people who had plenty of small children around them seem to be the ones full of the Christmas spirit the most.
3. Making up new lyrics to Garfunkel and Oats song, “Year End Letter” with your sister will have you laughing so hard you will be crying. Note: The original version is plenty funny, follow the link above to listen, those girls are the female version of Flight of the Conchords.
4. Retail Associations and the Media can’t seem to agree on the numbers for holiday spending yet. Does it matter? To quote the opening line from The Kid Stays in the Picture, “There are three sides to a story, yours, mine and truth.”  Numbers can be manipulated to make a point for anything, what do you want to believe?
5. Next year this time we might be longing for the days when the only thing we had to take off at the airport was our shoes. With all the talk about naked scanners after Christmas terrorist attempt maybe Lifetime TV will revive Carson Kressley’s “How to  Look Good Naked” show with a new version, “How to Look Better in a Naked Scan Photo.” (Shamelessly, I was watched a lot of Lifetime movies while I was sick.)

1. It is pretty normal to be out of your comfort zone when you are experiencing something new yet if you are naturally curious and find enjoyment in learning something new, the discomfort goes away.
2. When a diverse group of people come together it creates a community rich in culture, creativity and acceptance.
3. Being resourceful is a two way street – learning how to create your own resources and share with others is very rewarding.
4. There seems to be a connection between positive social interaction and healthy wellbeing. What comes first fit body or fit mind? It really does not matter as long as you are willing to cross the road.
5. Dreams come in all shapes and sizes pursue them even if you don’t know the outcome.

Here were the ones that made me think:

1. Texting – If you are 30 years of age or older, reflect on a high school moment and then try to imagine how that memory would be different with texting in the equation…might help you understand what teenagers are going through now as there is no need to anticipate anything if they are texting all the time.
2. Virtual Reality –A holiday Wii match and rocking out to the Rock band game are great ways to create a holiday memory. What about the family member that sneaks off to play a game on the computer alone? Do you know all the things you are allowed to do with your avatar online?  Younger generations and gamers do, ask someone…that conversation will blow your mind.
3. Companies trying to be “clever” with Social Media – I am still not sure what to think about this one – http://www.giveitaponder.com. Is this humorous or making a point?
4. New Holiday Traditions – My favorite – Putting notes of what you are thankful for in small wrapped boxes to put away and unwrapped the following holiday season.

Special Holiday Note:  SocialBling.com has teams up with TheLEK.com to bring people in the Los Angeles area, “Nomads Unite,” a special holiday offering for those who might not be traveling home for the holidays or are just looking to meet some new friends. For details go to: http://www.socialbling.com