SocialBling – Our Plans for 2010 and How They Benefit You.

Happy New Year to you! We hope it is off to great start.

When we created SocialBling, we did it under the two premises:

1. If dating and finding new business opportunities (new job and/or customer) are at opposite ends as to why people need to network, can we create a more mutually beneficial network by focusing less on the differences of those two ends and by finding mutual ground in the middle? (I.e. goals, hobbies, interests, information exchanges, etc)
2. If we pre-screened and introduced people based on best attributes and  information that is important to them yet sometimes hard to reveal via a self-introduction encounter would there be more value in the introduction and opportunity for connection?

We are happy to report the answer to both questions is Yes. We have our tools and we are ready to build our house. In traditional networking communities as your needs changes you may outgrow your network.  It is important to us that we build a network of diversity; we want representation from all groups of people,  making sure our community evolves with you as your needs change.

As we think in terms of mutual beneficial relationships, we are seeking partners who are interested in utilizing our processes of matching, screening, introducing and hosting to deliver value to their networks and databases. If you or someone that you know has a large database of email contacts and is looking for ways to deliver monetizing value to them, we would like to talk to you. Note: Our offerings vary based on who we are working with. We go to great lengths to manage the integrity of your brand and your contacts.

We are looking to partner with:

1. Businesses with a diverse databases
2. Non profits organizations
3. Traditional networking organizations
4. Corporate event planners
5. Music, art, fashion and/or party promoters
6. Personalities (book author, field expert, blogger, etc)

Currently, we are looking for either National or Los Angeles-based partners. Please spread the word. Help Us, Help You – We are working to make great connections for you.

Relationship and Social Trend Predictions for 2010

Happy New Year!! For many, 2009 was a year full of stories and moments based on survival. For 2010, I hope this time next year we are recapping stories based on thriving passed survival.

I have never made predictions before. I am sure the internet will be full of financial, technological, and global affairs/issues predictions so I will not bother speaking about things that other people are way more informed than I to speak on. What I will talk about is relationships and social communication trends. There is a long list of reasons as to how and why I have become so tuned in and passionate about social shifts and how they are affecting our relationships. I do not share my thoughts with you because I am particular fond of worry or doom and gloom. I simply believe a little awareness goes a long way and the result of actions based on awareness, creates more opportunity for positive impact.

Top 5 Relationship and Social Trend Predictions:

An Urge to Tune Out to Tune In – We are bombarded by new information at a rate that is often too fast for processing.  When we can’t process things we want to process or think we should it leaves what I call a “fact or fiction film” (FFF) in our minds. We want to move on and dismiss the need to learn new information yet somehow we can’t let it go. Layers of FFF builds up in our minds; to clean it out we have to take the time to slow down, stop thinking for a bit and then go back to it ready to discard what we don’t need and learn more about what we do.

Pitches of Promise Lead to Excess of Expectations – A good sales manager will train salesmen to “Under promise and over-deliver.” A relationship consultant will advise couples that unspoken expectations will hurt and destroy a relationship. The lure and promises of new technology will be promoted in a matter that anything and everything can be automatic and more advanced than human integration.  This thinking goes beyond gadgets that make our life easier. In the New Year we will hear more and more about Technological Singularity, the creation of smarter than human intelligence. We may start to think, if this device, software, etc. can’t solve my needs I will just find another one that can. This theme will spill over into human relationships creating more expectations; without awareness to this, relationship will become increasingly hostile and temporary.  As our brains become overloaded with information without even knowing it we may expect others to account for things we don’t know and when they do not clear our minds of the overload we become irritated much quicker than before.  Why? Because common ground means of instant communication like texting and Skype leave us anticipating nothing, without anticipation, relating becomes the tragic baby that as the saying goes is “thrown out with the bath water.”  It does not matter what your role is: friend, spouse, employer, employee, consultant; we all have to be sensitive to this and be responsible for our communication or lack of and how it affects the nature of a relationship.

A Turn toward Music for Guiding Philosophy – Some say that trends in music are connected to trends in drug use. A good example of this connection is portrayed in the movie/documentary “24 Hour Party People.” Newest trends in music are showing more of a connection to shifts and advancement in technology. How many songs can you think of that mention cell phones or texting? With technology comes demands and longing for emotional intelligence, musicians have been singing about this and predicting the effects of technology for years. Listen to Our Lady Peace’s album released in 2000 called “Spiritual Machine” from start to finish. This concept album was inspired by Ray Kurzweil’s book, “The Age of Spiritual Machines.” The music in this collection brilliantly simplified complex concepts by expressing the need for humility in relationships and love. At the end of the day is “Love All We Need?” There are plenty of songs that lead us to believe so and we love them and the artist that sing them. Check out my top 10 picks for “Songs to Believe in Love Again” and “Songs to Help you Tune Out to Tune in.”

Religion Redefined – Religion is defined as a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe with great consideration to the nature of which it was created by and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs. As religious leaders work to communicate and interpret earliest works of religious archives, they often overlook the importance of the community they are speaking to and what is necessary to keep that community together. People may come together because they share a similar believe yet they remain together based on an acceptance and understanding that is based on things they do not have in common with each other. People are starving for communities that support and inspire individuality. Church communities have the greatest opportunities to bring people together and connect them to each other yet churches do not usually promote individuality and so church membership is declining. People thirsty for a spiritual foundation and/or wanting to connect with people so they can openly question and explore faith are turned off by traditional religious communities because it seems judgment far outweighs the rate of acceptance. Many people find more opportunity to grow spiritually through reading books by authors like Karen Armstrong, participating in cause-related movements that support their beliefs and concerns and finding community via unique experiences like the Burning Man Festival. Note: I do not say these things to anger church leaders or challenge anyone’s religious beliefs, I am more interested in bringing much needed community to this world. I think there is huge opportunity for churches to rethink their community building practices and any an organization that is working towards bringing people together and keeping them together deserves some credit for doing so.

Conversations of Introspection Gain in Popularity over Social Small Talk – Being able to relate to people is the luxury that is missing in our relationships. The “Don’t Worry Be Happy” patterns of consumption founded in the 80’s have in some shape or form managed to stay with us, forcing us to face them head on in 2008 and 2009. Our government, banking system, business and life as we know it has changed. It has caused confusion, hardships and reasons to evaluate our methods. There is an abundant of resources to look to for the answers yet the sources of the most value will always come from conversations with people you trust. The capacity for learning greatly increases when the source is a person whose heart we trust. We don’t find or develop these sources via small talk, they come through the willingness to be vulnerable and transparent and the ability to recognize, listen and treasure when others are doing the same.

Conversation Recap: Halloween, Corporate Culture and Burning Man

My friend pointed out to me last week that he was “beginning to hear a theme” in our conversations. I am willing to bet if you asked five other people I speak with the most, they would tell you they hear my theme too. Everybody has a theme, it is the stage of theme that differs. A theme might be based on insecurities and fears, some you are willing to conquer and others that might be too hard to face. A theme can be based on passion and purpose; you might be in the process of gathering your thoughts or you might be laser-focused on certain actions and activities that are helping you visualize your life purpose.

Because my theme is a driving force for SocialBling, I thought I would start using this blog to recap weekly conversations that have inspired me to think differently, reflect on what is important to me, and/or act on new information that has been shared with me. You might relate to my thoughts, you might disagree completely…both are perfectly fine with me. I just want to get you thinking: thinking about your own themes, thinking about the value in conversations. I believe, if you are willing to communicate your themes, opportunities for positive development will come your way. The SocialBling network is all about this advancement. For every person that takes the time to communicate their intentions, the stronger the network becomes and the more mutually beneficial connections we can make.

Conversations from Oct 25^th – Oct 31th 2009

Conversation #1 – Halloween. To participate or not? I was talking to a friend who was pretty excited about Halloween this year. I admitted to her that although I had been invited to nine different Halloween celebrations I had not thought about celebrating. To begin with, the effort to come up with a costume seemed like a large undertaking. She pushed back to me, “Yes but the reason why you think it is hard is you are working too hard and need to let go…put on a mask and be someone else for a while.” Hmmm, she makes a good point. I started to think what would I dress up as? An image of an image of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz came to mind. Why? Well the thought of putting on an adorable gingham checked blue dress and red shoes while throwing my newly adopted dog in basket sounded like fun. Who doesn’t want to go on adventure with a favorite furry companion dressed like a child out for picnic? I asked myself, is that really putting on a mask or is that who I desire to be the most right now?A woman on an adventure out to make new friends? Yes, that sounds about right.

Conversation #2 – Corporate Culture.  I had a meeting with an impressive professional in the hospitality industry. The meeting started like any other: both of us communicating within the realms of business speak and both us trying to understand what value each of us brings to the other. Then it shifted.  Our “Business Masks” came off and we started to talk freely. Why? – Because we found a connection that inspired us to open up personally. In this personal space we found comfortable common ground. We talked about motivation, connection, intention and goals. We talked about the effort that goes into creating positive work cultures and networks and how the benefits far outweigh that effort. Did we have to remove our business masks to get there? Absolutely! When you can let your guard down and speak freely knowing you are making a connection that works for both people, it is like taking in fresh air, it never gets old.

Conversation #3 – Burning Man. For those of you who do not know what Burning Man is I encourage you to Google it. The annual event takes place in the Black Rock Desert in Northern Nevada at the end of August every year. I have not attended yet, however several of my friends go every year. One of them is an entrepreneurial friend of mine. He understood immediately what SocialBling is about. He said, “You want to help people meet people without it feeling like networking…sounds like Burning Man. You want to create a safe place for people to express who they are while simultaneously showing them that other people connect with their passions and viewpoints…yes, sounds like Burning Man.”  He talked passionately for hours about Burning Man. From an outsider’s standpoint, Burning Man seems like a week long costume party that takes place in a carnival-like atmosphere. It seems like people go to escape life and play in their masks. Yet my friend sees it completely differently. He says the whole event inspires people to be who they are and express themselves freely creating a powerful energy of connection that generates kindness and generosity. The friends he makes at Burning Man become a deeply connected group that he respects, trusts and he can count on. I love this!!! If this is being done 7 days out of the year, what will it take to build a network where it is happening 365 days out of the year? That is the journey I am on. If the adventure leads me to Burning Man 2010, so be it. If other people see different paths to the destination, I want to hear/experience those as well. Everyone in the SocialBling network benefits when we take the time to connect with each other’s passions.  I am learning, I am listening…I am on the adventure.